LOVING YOURSELF.
People would tell me, “you need to love yourself.” Wow, that sounded great, but the problem was I didn’t know what that meant. I knew that they didn’t mean that I should be self-absorbed or narcissistic. I also knew it didn’t mean soothing myself with several shots of whiskey.
I understood how to love others—at least the feeling that made me want to give attention, caring, respect to someone—but feeling that for myself? I was completely confused on where to even begin.
It took me years to learn, but I finally did; and I would like to share with you what I found. Here are some ways you can start loving yourself:
Acknowledge Your Gifts and Talents. Whether you realize it or not, you have knowledge and skills that other people do not have. Work with your strengths. Find ways to share these with others for fun and fortune.
Be True to Yourself. I’ve previously written about this. Pursue your passions. Find work that you genuinely enjoy. When you do what you love, you will be so fulfilled that you’ll never again watch the clock in anticipation of quitting time. Also, by following your own interests, you will attract people to you who share your excitement, dedication and joy.
Know Your Own Value. Don’t assume someone is better than you. Find ways to assess your skills, abilities, and achievements without comparing yourself to others. Malcolm Forbes once noted, “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” And, when you do see someone who has already achieved what you haven’t yet, try to understand that you cannot know what advantages they started with or what sacrifices they may have made.
Stop Calling Yourself Names. How often have you proclaimed, “I’m such a screw up!” The fact of the matter is that you are not a failure; you have merely not met the success you desired from a particular endeavor. Respect yourself and give yourself a break. As many successful people have observed, “If you're not failing, you're not trying often enough.”
Focus on the Positive. Eliminate your bad habit of only focusing on the negative aspects of your life because it makes those things seem disproportionately important. I have friends who are police officers, and I see how their constant dealing with criminals has tainted their view of people and tends to make them see nearly everyone as bad. Make a habit of observing the good things in your life every day.
Correct Negative Self-Beliefs. Self-perception will affect the outcome of your pursuits and can determine success or failure. Henry Ford said, “If you believe you can or believe you can’t; you’re right.” A positive self-belief will produce confidence and success. A negative self-belief in our abilities will make us flinch in the moment of opportunity. Often we unconsciously broadcast our self-belief which affects the way others perceive and treat us. A hindering self-belief of “I am not good enough” can be resolved with positive affirmations, visualization, and tallying up your successes regardless of size.
Avoid Perfectionism. I’ve also previously written about this. Perfectionism leads to procrastination. Procrastination is all about fear of failure. My solution is to take imperfect action which is better than taking no action. You can always learn as you go along and tweak or correct what you may not have been ready to do when you began. The important thing is taking the first step.
Way to love yourself.
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